When the Fruitful Hollow team was planning for this Advent season, one word kept coming to mind: “awaiting”. Merriam-Webster has a captivating definition listed: “to remain in abeyance until”. Abeyance: “a state of temporary inactivity: suspension ”. Each week in Advent we will dive deep into the abeyance. Perhaps many of us are intimately familiar with waiting. I’d like you to embrace the suspension in the upcoming weeks and experience the joy that Christmas brings when the

Year seven looks nothing like I was told it would. By now, according to the theology I grew up with, this should be over. God should have answered. His timing should have been perfect. The story should have reached its redemptive conclusion: the testimony with the happy ending where I stand up in church and declare how faithful God was through our infertility journey, baby in my arms. Instead, I'm staring down the reality that I'm aging out. That the door to adoption has slam

A different approach to gratitude We’ve all heard the well-meaning advice to focus on what we have rather than what we don’t have - “comparison is the enemy of contentment” or “comparison is the thief of joy”. But doing the often recommended “write down one thing you're thankful for a day” can feel pretty empty when you’re longing for a child, and instead are supposed to relish in your journal entry of “I’m thankful for the takeout we had for dinner”. It can feel like a rathe

Can you imagine yourself single, homeless with three children under the age of four, in the middle of a Canadian winter, with no one to call? What about if you’ve just arrived in Canada from your own dangerous country, but you’ve landed in hospital needing surgery, with no one to take care of your two school aged children? Think of a crisis you have been through and think about who you had to lean on for support. Who are the people you may have had on speed dial to help talk

Inspired by “The Screwtape Letters” by C. S. Lewis My dear Gloomsprout, Your last report delighted me immensely. Your “patient” is progressing beautifully toward our goals. Twenty-eight months of trying to conceive, twenty-four negative pregnancy tests, one miscarriage and one chemical pregnancy have prepared the soil magnificently. But do not grow complacent, nephew. The real harvest is just beginning. You’ve attacked her identity brilliantly. She no longer sees herself as

I am somewhat ashamed to admit that when I first learned that the theme of the Jubilee Year was “hope”, I just about physically gagged. My relationship with the idea, the virtue, the gift of hope, after 10+ years of infertility… let’s just say it’s a bit rocky.

I must admit that at times, I have had a challenging relationship with our Blessed Mother. It is something that I am working through. In my weakest moments, I envy Mary. Here I am, with a barren womb, empty and broken. Yet Mary immaculately conceived Jesus at a young age. She simply said “yes” to God’s will and suddenly she was pregnant. That is the impression we get sometimes, isn’t it? What could the Mother of God know of infertility or the long wait toward adoptive parenth

The call to surrender – to let go and let God – is woven into the very fabric of our identity as Christians; but it is known in a particular way by those women bearing the burden of infertility. Those of us who have experienced the agony of being unable to conceive when it is the deepest desire of our hearts know without a doubt what it means to yield to a reality we cannot control. I think that’s why, at one point in my journey, “surrender” became a trigger word for me. It

Through prayer, we find ourselves relying on saints and angels that hold specific missions or roles to help us heal and navigate our struggle. Through tears, prayer became my solace and comfort. I found saints I may never have encountered had it not been for infertility. I also realized angels and archangels could be powerful allies and friends. As we celebrate the feast of the archangel this week, I have chosen to take each archangel and show how they can be a great friend t

Trying to conceive while dealing with infertility comes with intense emotions. Each new treatment, supplement or surgery can fill us with the possibility that “this, surely, will be the month!” often to only be met by deep despair when we see that, once again, this month is not our month for the pregnancy we have longed for for so long. How do we continue forward in hope, leaving room for the possibility for God to work a miracle, all while not setting ourselves up for an emo