I have realized that while I may have wanted a definitive answer, I wasn’t likely to receive it. I don’t have to make a big “forever decision”. My husband and I simply have to discern and decide what is best for us now, at this stage in life, or even just this month. At any juncture we can change course if we want to.

A huge part of carrying the cross of infertility is feeling like we have so much love in our hearts with nowhere for it to go. While nothing can replace motherhood, not having children does not mean we have nothing to offer the world. The Holy Spirit endows each of us with special charisms intended to build up those around us. We are not without mission. We are not without purpose.

The Annunciation has a very special place in my heart as a mom of loss and someone who has also experienced primary and secondary infertility. I always looked at it as this miraculous event where even when conception seemed impossible, it wasn't with God. It was hopeful that we might miraculously conceive. As I have gone through my own journey, I've gleaned deeper meaning from this intimate encounter with Mary, the Angel Gabriel and our Lord.