Discernment within a marriage is not always "fair" or easy. Especially when you may feel as if the discernment process was not equally yoked. How can my desires not align with my spouse; the person my soul is so intimately intertwined with? We both entered into the same covenant with God. We should be on the same page. Right?

I have realized that while I may have wanted a definitive answer, I wasn’t likely to receive it. I don’t have to make a big “forever decision”. My husband and I simply have to discern and decide what is best for us now, at this stage in life, or even just this month. At any juncture we can change course if we want to.

A huge part of carrying the cross of infertility is feeling like we have so much love in our hearts with nowhere for it to go. While nothing can replace motherhood, not having children does not mean we have nothing to offer the world. The Holy Spirit endows each of us with special charisms intended to build up those around us. We are not without mission. We are not without purpose.