Discernment within a marriage is not always "fair" or easy. Especially when you may feel as if the discernment process was not equally yoked. How can my desires not align with my spouse; the person my soul is so intimately intertwined with? We both entered into the same covenant with God. We should be on the same page. Right?

I have realized that while I may have wanted a definitive answer, I wasn’t likely to receive it. I don’t have to make a big “forever decision”. My husband and I simply have to discern and decide what is best for us now, at this stage in life, or even just this month. At any juncture we can change course if we want to.

Children do not establish a family, only the love of the two in matrimony under God does. I look at Saints Anne and Joachim, and how they direct us back to their daughter, who directs us back to her son, Love itself. If they can still have hope in God despite their pain and uncertainty, maybe I can take the first step in simply uttering a small, "Love I trust you".