“Grief is not a state but a process, like a walk in a winding valley with a new prospect at every bend.” — C. S. Lewis From the moment you wake up until your head finally hits the pillow, grief from infertility can feel like a weight you can’t outrun. Some days you come up for air; other days, it swallows you whole. I had known grief before, and it usually passed. But during a difficult adoption process, grief settled in and refused to leave. From the beginning, something abo

If you’re like me in any way, you thrive on connection. That sense of belonging, of sharing the inside joke or seeing someone’s eyes light up when they see you, the hum of energy in a crowd or the chuckle to yourself at reading a loved one’s silly text. The community to support you when all else around you doesn’t make sense. Even the most introverted person needs connection, though it could look differently than an extrovert like me. Even if your village is small, it is stil

There was a time in my infertility journey when I would hold my breath every time I logged into my social media accounts. I dreaded the all too familiar way my heart would drop whenever a new pregnancy announcement popped into my feed. The reaction came quickly and sharply before I could filter it – a hard punch of pain, followed by a slowly building jealousy. Always, it was rounded out by shame – HOW could I feel such ugly feelings in light of new life? What is WRONG with me

To All Who Have Been with The Fruitful Hollow Since the Beginning and Anyone Just Stumbling Upon Our Ministry, the deepest and most affectionate welcome. My name is CJ and I am humbled to greet you as the new director of The Fruitful Hollow after the remarkable 5 years our ministry has spent under Lauren, our fearless first director . I would like to take a brief moment to introduce myself and share a little about the journey that led me to writing this. I was born with Turne