One particularly painful manifestation of toxic positivity and prosperity Gospel in Christian infertility circles is the emphasis that every couple in scripture who experienced infertility eventually had a child. We should remember that for every barren woman turned mother in scripture, many others were never blessed with children. When we present only the “success stories,” we inadvertently suggest that those still waiting simply haven’t waited long enough or prayed hard eno

I am never content with the blessings that I have, but I see the next step, the next milestone, the next blessing I want. I'm single minded in my prayer, only talking to God about what I think I need. I fail to take into account all the blessings I do have, ignoring the fact that I used to pray for all the things I have now. I feel as if God is holding back from me the very thing that will make me happy, holy, the best version of myself.

Infertility is deeply personal. Some people might choose to “suffer in silence” because for personal reasons they don't want to talk about infertility with many others. Some people feel they can't because it's taboo in their culture or family. Some may have tried to talk about it and didn't receive a supportive response. There are many reasons you might remain private about your infertility so we opened up the discussion to some of our writers to share their experiences. 

I have learned from Joachim and Anne that persistent prayer changes us more than it changes our circumstances. After seven years of praying for a child, I’ve discovered that some of my most profound moments with God have come when I’ve run out of words. Like old friends who can sit together without speaking, I’m learning to simply be in God’s presence with my longing. Joachim and Anne must have experienced this too.