A Punch in the Gut
It happens to all of us - we’re happily scrolling through social media, or chatting away with family or friends, and we are caught by surprise by a pregnancy or birth announcement. These announcements can be challenging while we try to figure out how to handle conflicting emotions of joy for the other and sorrow for ourselves. If you struggle with being on the receiving end of difficult announcements, there is unfortunately no easy fix for avoiding the negative emotions. However, there are several steps you can take to make sure you are handling things in as healthy a way as possible, and avoid getting trapped for too long in the negative emotion cycle.
3 Steps to Deal with Announcements in a Healthy Way
Identify and explain your emotions and turn them into a prayer I feel _______ because _________ and I wish_____. God help me to_______. Please bring healing to my relationship with _____ and her new baby. Instead of just allowing yourself to feel a general burst of terrible emotions, take the time to identify them and where they are coming from, and then bring it to God. For example: “I feel really alone because I heard the news from someone else instead of my friend and I wish we had a strong enough relationship that we could have had that conversation together. God please help to heal my heart and our relationship and remind me that you are always here for me.”
Focus on truth, beauty and goodness Truth -Identify the lies you are telling yourself and replace them with a truth. Include a scripture verse if you can. Check out our Wielding the Sword of the Spirit printable for more suggestions here (Wielding the Sword of the Spirit: Fighting Satan’s Lies with Scripture can be found at thefruitfulhollow.com/resources). Beauty - Focus on things that bring your gaze heavenward instead of spiraling in on yourself. You could listen to uplifting music, spend time in nature, capture beauty with your camera, or take time for reading poetry, spiritual reading or scripture. Goodness - Ask yourself “What do I need right now?” Identify activities that will be good for you and meet your spiritual, physical and emotional needs in a positive way. Check out our Toolbox for Stressful Times printable for more practical tips in this area (this can be found at thefruitfulhollow.com/resources).
Communicate with your spouse Keep the communication open with your spouse. Let them know how you are feeling and why. Take some time and let them know what would be helpful for them to say or do if you struggle in the future with receiving such announcements.
Printable Worksheets
Click here to download your own printable “Dealing with Pregnancy and Birth Announcements” worksheets, which includes both an example page and a blank template for you to fill out with your own plan.
For further resources to help you along the infertility journey, check out our Resources Page.
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