My infertility creed, part 5: Mary, Mother of us all
- Kristin D.
- Oct 15
- 5 min read
To read the first 4 parts in the "My infertility creed" series by Kristin D, click here:
And by the Holy Spirit was incarnate of the Virgin Mary, and became man.
I must admit that at times, I have had a challenging relationship with our Blessed Mother. It is something that I am working through. In my weakest moments, I envy Mary. Here I am, with a barren womb, empty and broken. Yet Mary immaculately conceived Jesus at a young age. She simply said “yes” to God’s will and suddenly she was pregnant. That is the impression we get sometimes, isn’t it? What could the Mother of God know of infertility or the long wait toward adoptive parenthood?
I once shared this frustration with my husband who replied thoughtfully, "When Jesus hung on the cross, he looked upon his beloved disciple and then his Mother, and said 'Behold, your son'. In that moment, he made her the mother of all. Isn't that a kind of an adoption of sorts? That is the ultimate example of adoptive parenthood - that Mary cares for all of us. God chose her to be our mother."
Indeed, Mary is our spiritual Mother because it was Jesus’ last wish. He gave Mary to us as a model and guide. She prays for us constantly and ever seeks to draw us closer to her son. She also felt the pain of loss. Her son passed long before she did. For all who have experienced a miscarriage or lost a baby, or even those like me who have never conceived, Mary understands the depths of your pain. She is praying with her nurturing heart that your wounds may be healed and that your sacrifice may be turned to glory just as her Son.
Mary is our adopted Mother. If I am blessed to adopt a precious child someday, I can only hope and pray that I can learn from her example. God chooses four parents for each adopted child, a birth mother, a birth father, and an adoptive mother and father to be the child's "forever family". Truly, what a gift! Mary, avails herself to the Holy Spirit and God multiplies grace! What an incredible model of adoptive parenthood are St. Joseph and our Blessed Mother!
Pope Francis reminded couples:
“Like Mary, they are asked to face their family’s challenges with courage and serenity, in good times and bad, and to keep in their heart the great things which God has done (cf. Lk 2:19, 51). The treasury of Mary’s heart also contains the experiences of every family, which she cherishes. For this reason, she can help us understand the meaning of these experiences and to hear the message God wishes to communicate through the life of our families.” (Pope Francis, Amoris Laetitia, [20])
Married infertile couples are truly families in every sense of the word. Their openness to life and concern for their relatives and friends extends beyond the confines of their own homes and breathes life into their communities. Mary cares for you and your spouse and prays that your gifts continue to enrich all whom you encounter. I truly believe with all my heart that in God’s eyes, in this moment, you and your spouse are enough. He does not see you as broken or insufficient. He sees you and your spouse as his beloved. Your burdens also weigh on Mary’s heart and she hands them over to her son with every belief and trust that He will redeem these burdens along the path of your salvation.
Perhaps the greatest insight of the Christian faith is that of the mystery of the incarnation. What does it mean for us as human beings? It means that we can seize moments of redemption in and through our daily experiences. He is sending love notes of grace and courage through the mundane life. If I open the eyes of my heart, I can see more clearly the work of His hands. I can touch and feel the sacred through the Sacraments, bringing forth hope amidst my emptiness every time I place my intentions before the Eucharist. He continues to fill me up with the strength that I need to share goodness with others. Through the incarnation, I know that God’s presence is real and abiding in this world. It isn’t just a spiritual feeling or a philosophical thought. The incarnation reveals that through the physical world, we can participate in God’s creative enterprise, which is not limited to childbearing and conception. Think of the amazing skills and beautiful gifts that you have and how you can share them with others. As you tap into these treasures, you are expanding the horizons of your own extraordinary possibilities. Pope Francis encouraged us, “The more we are able to mature and develop in this world, the more gifts we will be able to bring to the heavenly banquet.” (Pope Francis, Amoris Laetitia, [258])
The more you give, the more you receive. The more you offer with your human faculties of mind and body, the more you receive of spiritual nourishment. In this very exchange, you tap into the creative genius that God has placed within you. It will help to deepen your understanding of the heights and depths of your particular vocation as a beloved spouse.
I encourage anyone seeking to know Jesus more to spend time in prayer before the Blessed Sacrament. Set aside time to sit in a chapel before Him. Even if you don’t know what to say or how to begin, just let yourself be there in His presence. Let Him know in all honesty what you are thinking and feeling. Take in the moment and rest in Him. You may find great comfort, peace and consolation in the quiet moments before the Eucharist. If you have trouble knowing where to start, pray a rosary, read through scriptures, offer up an intention, or simply say, “Jesus, I trust in you”. (Prayer of St. Faustina Kowalska.) These are simple ways that you can come to know the incarnate Jesus more and let him into the journey of life with you. Begin by letting Mary, our Mother, pray for you and lead you hand and hand to her Son.
Reflection questions
What is your relationship with Mary? How does her example help or challenge you along your struggle?
Who in your life best exemplifies the virtues of motherhood or fatherhood? How do you strive to integrate these virtues in your daily life?
What are tangible ways that you can work to increase your faith and physical health? Do you make time to exercise your body and spirit in your daily life?
Action steps
Write a letter to a parent figure that you admire who has had a positive impact on your life.
Volunteer to help with a youth ministry, make a gift package for a needy family, or cheer on a relative or friend at a special event.
Visit someone who may be lonely (ex: a senior citizen, single neighbor, etc.)
Prayer
Mary, Our Mother, help us to know your Son. Please pray for us, that we may learn to trust in the Lord, just as you did when you said “Yes” to the angel’s greeting. Mary, Our Mother, pray for us!
