Resource: Discerning and embracing your charisms
- Ellen H.
- May 20
- 4 min read
When you have so much to give
A huge part of carrying the cross of infertility is feeling like we have so much love in our hearts with nowhere for it to go. It can feel like a loss of who we were meant to be, and without a child to love and nurture, it can even feel like we are losing the chance to have the beautiful positive effect on the world that we were expecting and ready to make. While nothing can replace motherhood, we must remember that not having children, or not growing our family as much as we had hoped, does not mean we have nothing to offer the world and no impact to make. Quite the contrary. The Holy Spirit offers all of us gifts, and endows each of us with our own special charisms intended to be used to build up those around us. We are not without mission. We are not without purpose.
What is a charism?
The Holy Spirit gives the gifts of wisdom, understanding, counsel, fortitude, knowledge, piety, and fear of the Lord to all people (CCC 1831). They are given to help us personally grow in virtue. We all have access to all of those gifts. Charisms, on the other hand, are given to us by the Holy Spirit for the purpose of growing and supporting the Body of Christ. No one is given all of the charisms, but all of us are given one or more. (1 Cor 4: 8-11).
Six steps to recognizing and journeying with the Holy Spirit
Prayerfully study
Spend time learning about charisms. Sit with and pray through the scripture and Catechism references, and explore different articles and assessment tools. Jot down any insights that stand out to you. Consider inviting a friend to take this journey with you!
Scripture verses:
1 Corinthians 12: 1-31
Romans 12: 6-8
Ephesians 4: 11-12
Catechism of the Catholic Church:
Article:
Your charisms are for me (and mine are for you) by Denver Catholic
Pray to the Holy Spirit
Ask the Holy Spirit to reveal to you the gifts He has given you and to help you to discover how best to use them for the good of the Church and those around you.
Recognize where God is already working through you
A sign of having a particular charism is that fruit is born of it. If you have the gift of teaching, people will learn. If you have the gift of healing, people will be healed when you pray over them. If you have the gift of encouragement, people will feel strengthened and encouraged after speaking to you. Take some time to write down examples of when you noticed God working through you to help others, examples when you felt joy, peace and excitement in serving, and when you felt that you were able to make a positive difference and enjoyed doing so. Note the occasion, what you did, and the fruit of your actions.
Listen to others
Ask your friends, family and colleagues what charisms they see manifested in your life. Ask for examples. Add their insights to the list you began in step 3 above: note the occasion, what you did, and the fruit of your actions. If you have a spiritual director, take the opportunity to discuss this with them. Consider taking a “Spiritual Gifts” workshop or using an online “Charisms Inventory" to aid you in your discernment.
Assessment tools:
Discernment of Gifts by Diocese of Cleveland
Spiritual Gifts Assessment by Theology on Tap
Spiritual Gifts Inventory by Archdiocese of Oklahoma City
Look for opportunities to practice
Pray that the Holy Spirit would provide opportunities for you to put your potential charisms to practice. Brainstorm some potential opportunities and keep your eye out for others. If your reflections and insight from family and friends lead you to believe you may have a charism for encouragement, write down three people you know who need encouragement and an idea of how you could reach out to each of them. If you believe you have the charism of teaching, is there an opportunity at your parish where you could practice leading a faith formation class? Or to volunteer as a tutor at the library?
Reflect
As you put your potential charisms into practice, jot down your reflections of the fruit of each of these activities. Was the person you prayed for healed in any way? Did the students you taught learn and did they enjoy your class? Did friends mention how encouraged they felt by your support? Take notes on what was and wasn’t fruitful about these attempts so you can direct future attempts to what is bearing the most fruit and having the most positive impact on others. It’s ok if some things don’t work out - it’s all part of the discernment process! Keep praying and seeking out spiritual counsel and mentorship. God has gifted you with a particular charism so that you may be His hands and feet in the world around you - don’t miss out on beautiful opportunities that he has waiting for you!
Click below to download your own printable “Discerning and embracing your charisms” worksheets, which include both an example page and a blank template for you to fill out with your own plan.
For further resources to help you along the infertility journey, check out our Resources Page.
