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  • Writer's pictureDanielle Thompson

Seasons of infertility: processing infertility

This is part of our “Seasons of infertility” series. To read other blog posts in this series, use the “Seasons” filter on the blog.


“Consider it all joy, my brothers and sisters, when you encounter various trials, for you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. And let perseverance be perfect, so that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing.” (James 1:2-4)

Before I write, I always seek God’s Word. His Word is inspired by the Holy Spirit, and so should my words be. He never fails to remind me of where I am or where I have been faithfully. His Word has engraved titled seasons in my life, within my trial. Today, He has brought me back here to sacred scripture that has encouraged me and lifted my eyes from the ground. Faithful one, let’s choose to gaze unto the hills in the moment of our ache, together!

Journeying through sadness and pain

The other day, my mom and I were chatting. She delights in the Lord effortlessly. Her pure of heart and faithful stance toward Heaven radiates through her. She’s been a pillar in my own life, in my own faith and in my own trial of infertility. As we were talking, I expressed to her how I am naturally melancholic. Being a “life professor”, she renounced what I had spoken and declared in response, “You are a sanguine!” Over the years as I have processed infertility, I have certainly journeyed through sadness and pain. It’s a loss of a lineage, a grief for babies that you have loved but haven’t met yet and a dream that has escaped from your reach. Naturally in our humanity, we bear the aches of this trial. I know that I have.

The Lord waits for us

In addition, through my trial, I have also experienced something much greater. When we seek, we will find. The Lord waits for us to search His Heart in our disparity so that He can deposit and plant the truth of who He says we are. In an instant, our faith stance can change from desperate to delight. The yoke lifts off of our shoulders in relief, giving us a clear mind and renewed heart to persevere. This is what the Lord can do! This is what the Lord has done. Scripture has lit burning flames in my heart where it was once dim, giving me the strength from the power of the Holy Spirit to push through.

Consider it all joy

So I get to count this all as joy? James 1:2-4 alleviates. The tears that I have wept, the isolation that I have felt, the lineage that I have lost hasn’t been wasted. Furthermore, I have the opportunity to smile through it. I get to claim it all for the Kingdom so that the devil gets nothing. Offering our trials to the Father produces perseverance. He wants us to rise in His strength and might. Our story has the ability to build His Kingdom. James chapter 1 continues:

But he should ask in faith, not doubting, for the one who doubts is like a wave of the sea that is driven and tossed about by the wind. For that person must not suppose that he will receive anything from the Lord, since he is a man of two minds, unstable in all his ways.” (James 1: 6-7)

Joy breeds hope

When our heart changes from grieved to joyous, we gain confidence. True joy cannot be faked, especially in the midst of a storm. Joy breeds hope. In our hope, we are equipped to ask the Father in faith for the things that concern us and for the things we desire. Scripture tells us to have confidence in the Father, that He will grant us the desires of our heart. Didn’t you know that the Father thinks the world of you?

Uproot doubt

Doubt exposes the parts of our hearts that need healing and refining. It reveals what we believe about our identity in Christ. In other words, doubt is a crisis within our priestly identity. Doubt also unveils our perception of the Lord. Can we pinpoint where doubt has been planted in our hearts? If so, I bet we can trace back to where that doubt inched its way into our faith, our choices, our prayer, our perspective. We can uproot doubt today and replant it with supernatural joy! Joy that sustains.

The cross lifts

I have yet to hold a child in my womb. I’ve dealt with the heaviness of this cross on my own trying to bear the weight. However, when I choose to count it all as joy, my pain transforms into purpose. The cross lifts. Joy produces perseverance and a genuine confidence that through Christ I can do ALL things. And, sister, so can you!

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