There was a time in my infertility journey when I would hold my breath every time I logged into my social media accounts. I dreaded the all too familiar way my heart would drop whenever a new pregnancy announcement popped into my feed. The reaction came quickly and sharply before I could filter it – a hard punch of pain, followed by a slowly building jealousy. Always, it was rounded out by shame – HOW could I feel such ugly feelings in light of new life? What is WRONG with me

The call to surrender – to let go  and let God – is woven into the very fabric of our identity as Christians; but it is known in a particular way by those women bearing the burden of infertility. Those of us who have experienced the agony of being unable to conceive when it is the deepest desire of our hearts know without a doubt what it means to yield to a reality we cannot control.  I think that’s why, at one point in my journey, “surrender” became a trigger word for me. It

I remember seeing her image, a huge six-foot portrait hanging on the wall of the Catholic church where I attended grade school, and feeling