What to do when you feel unraveled

Infertility breaks your heart in places you didn’t know could crack. It’s the quiet disappointment after each cycle, the sadness that shows up in moments that were supposed to feel happy, and the way it creeps into your thoughts when you least expect it. If you’re reading this, you already know the pain. What you may not know is how much your mental health matters while you carry this cross.

May is Mental Health Awareness Month. It’s a good time to stop and check in with yourself. You are walking through infertility, and your heart and mind have likely been stretched thin. That kind of cross deserves care.

Your feelings matter

The Catholic Church teaches that every part of you matters: your soul, your body, and even what the Church calls your “passions”. These are the emotions and desires that rise up in you. You do not need to hide your feelings. Sadness, anger and fear are not signs of weak faith; they are part of being human.

You may be feeling sad even on good days, nervous about the future, guilty about how you are handling things, distant from your spouse or alone even when you are with others. These are normal responses to pain. They deserve care.

Seven ways to support your mental health

Infertility brings stress that comes and goes without warning. While you can’t control everything, you can take small steps to protect your mind and heart.

• Create structure in your day

  Infertility often brings changes, appointments, and unknowns. Small routines help you feel grounded. Start your day with prayer or a quiet moment. Eat regular meals. Get enough sleep. These steady habits help your body and mind feel safe.

  
  

• Set boundaries with emotional triggers

  Some events, conversations, or social media posts can make your grief feel sharper. That is not your fault. You can protect your peace by muting certain accounts, skipping events when needed, and planning what to say when people ask personal questions. Boundaries are not selfish, they are healthy.

  
  

• Stop harmful thought patterns

  Thoughts like “I’m doing something wrong” or “God must be punishing me” are not true. These thoughts add to your pain. When they show up, pause. Ask, “Is this really true?” Then say something better: “God sees me. He has not forgotten me. I am not alone.”

  
  

• Stay close to your spouse

  Infertility can make couples feel far apart. Take time to talk about something other than treatment. Be honest about how you feel, and listen without trying to fix each other. Laugh together. Pray together. Your connection matters more than perfect words. Check in with each other often. A simple “How are you really doing this week?” can open the door to healing conversations.

  
  

• Stay rooted in the sacraments

  When your heart is heavy, the sacraments are a powerful source of grace. Go to confession when you need peace. Receive the Eucharist often if possible. If prayer feels hard, just sit with Jesus in silence. God does not expect perfect words. He just wants to be with you. The sacraments bring strength when you feel empty and remind you that you are never alone. This week, choose one sacrament to lean into: confession, the Eucharist, or adoration. Ask God to meet you there.

  
  

• Ask for the intercession of St. Dymphna

  St. Dymphna is the patron saint of people who are struggling with emotional or mental pain. She understands what it feels like to suffer and still love God. Ask her to pray for your peace and strength. She is a quiet but powerful friend for heavy days.

  
  

• Get support from a Catholic therapist

  Sometimes prayer and good habits are not enough. If your sadness or stress is growing, it is okay to ask for help. Talking with a therapist who shares your Catholic faith can help you feel calm, clear and strong again.

Here are two trusted options for readers in the USA:

• CatholicTherapists.com is a list of Catholic counselors around the country, 

• MyCatholicDoctor.com has online doctors and counselors who follow Catholic teaching. 

  
  

Getting help is not giving up. It is saying yes to healing.

You are not alone

Infertility can feel invisible. It can seem like everyone else is moving forward while you are stuck waiting. But God sees your tears. The Church sees your pain too.

Taking care of your mental health is part of healing. You do not have to carry this perfectly. You do not have to carry it alone.

This May, choose one small way to care for your heart and mind. Your mental health matters. So does your peace. And so do you. God is not asking you to carry this perfectly. Just prayerfully. What would happen if you gave yourself that grace today?